We've Been Thinking About Moving for Two Years. Here's What's Actually Holding You Back

I hear a version of this in almost every first conversation I have with a family.

"We've been thinking about it for about two years now."

Sometimes it's eighteen months. Sometimes it's three years. But the number is almost always longer than the family expected it to be when they first started having the conversation. And there's almost always a slight embarrassment attached to it — like they owe me an explanation for why they haven't moved yet.

They don't. And chances are, if you're reading this, you don't either.

Because in my experience, the families who have been "thinking about it" the longest aren't the ones who are confused or unmotivated. They're the ones who care the most. They're not delaying because they're indecisive. They're delaying because the stakes are high, the variables feel complicated, and nobody has sat down with them and actually helped them think it through.

That's what this post is about.

The reason you're still thinking about it isn't the reason you think

When I ask move-up buyers in Des Moines what's holding them back, I usually hear one of these:

• "We're waiting for the right time in the market."
• "We're not sure if we can afford what we actually want."
• "We're worried about what happens if we sell and can't find anything."
• "We need to figure out the timing — we can't be without a home."

These are real concerns. I'm not dismissing any of them. But after working through this process with families across Johnston, Ankeny, Urbandale, Waukee, West Des Moines, Clive, and Grimes, I've noticed something.

The stated reason is rarely the real reason.

The real reason is almost always some version of this: the decision feels too big to make without complete certainty, and complete certainty never comes.

The market will never be perfectly timed. The inventory will never be exactly what you want. The interest rate will never be exactly where you'd prefer it. And so families who are genuinely ready — financially, logistically, emotionally — stay in a holding pattern, waiting for a signal that the coast is clear.

The coast is never fully clear. That's not pessimism. That's just how major life decisions work.

What I learned from 20 years in marketing that changed how I think about this

Before I was a real estate agent, I spent two decades building marketing strategies for companies — figuring out why people make the decisions they make, what holds them back, and what actually moves them to act.

Here's one of the most consistent things I observed: the fear of making a wrong decision is almost always more paralyzing than the actual consequences of making one.

Brands spend millions studying this. The phenomenon even has a name — "loss aversion." We feel potential losses roughly twice as intensely as equivalent gains. Which means when you're weighing a move-up decision, the anxiety about what could go wrong carries roughly twice the psychological weight of the excitement about what could go right.

This matters for your situation specifically. Because when I look at the families I work with in the northwest suburbs — dual-income households, $150K to $250K combined, significant equity built up, kids approaching middle school — the math usually works. The timing is usually manageable. The market is not working against them.

What's working against them is the feeling of the decision, not the reality of it.

For most families in Johnston, Ankeny, Urbandale, Waukee, and West Des Moines who purchased between 2012 and 2020, home equity has grown substantially — often $80,000 to $150,000 or more — creating real purchasing power that Zillow's interface doesn't make obvious. The gap between what you think you can afford and what you can actually afford is often much smaller than it feels from the inside.

The three questions that actually settle the move-up decision

I use a simple framework in every first conversation with a move-up family. Three questions. Not a financial worksheet, not a market analysis — just three honest questions.

Question one: Does your family actually need this?

Not "would it be nice." Need. Are you legitimately out of space — kids sharing rooms, no place to work from home, a yard your dog has outgrown? Is your current neighborhood no longer aligned with where your family is headed? Have you stopped having people over because the house doesn't reflect who you are anymore?

If the answer is yes — genuinely yes, not "sort of eventually yes" — that's a real signal. Space and fit don't resolve themselves over time. They get more acute.

Question two: Can you do this comfortably, not just technically?

There's a version of the move-up decision that works on paper but creates financial stress that follows you into the new house. That's not the goal.

What I'm looking for here is whether the equity you've built, combined with your current income and a realistic view of what you'd be buying, leaves you in a position where the move genuinely improves your life — not just your address. For most families in these suburbs who bought between 2012 and 2020, the equity story is strong. But I'd rather show you the actual numbers than have you guess.

Question three: Will your kids and your life be measurably better for it?

This is the one that usually ends the conversation — in the best way.

If you're moving to get into a specific school district before a specific grade, there's a real deadline attached to this decision. If you're moving to give your kids a neighborhood where they can walk to a friend's house, join a team, build roots — that's a tangible outcome, not a vague aspiration.

When all three answers are yes, the decision isn't really a question anymore. It's a logistics problem. And logistics problems are solvable.

Ready to see what's actually available in the Des Moines northwest suburbs right now?

I built a private home search tool for move-up families in this corridor — homes you won't always find on Zillow, filtered for the move-up price range, across all seven suburbs. No sign-up walls, no spam. Just real inventory, updated daily. Search homes now → secret-home-finder.lovable.app

The thing about timing that nobody tells move-up buyers

I grew up in Urbandale. My family moved here from St. Paul in 1986 when I was a kid — my parents made the choice to plant roots in these northwest suburbs, and I watched that decision pay off over decades. My wife grew up in Ankeny. We both came back here to raise our own family, and we've watched this corridor grow and evolve from the inside for most of our lives.

The Des Moines northwest suburbs market in 2026 sits in a balanced range for the $425K–$650K move-up price point — enough inventory that buyers have options, not so much that sellers are under pressure. It is not a market that rewards waiting indefinitely.

Here's what four decades of watching this corridor has taught me about timing:

The families who waited for the perfect market almost never felt like they timed it right. The families who made the move when their family needed it — when the kids were the right age, when the equity was there, when the space had genuinely become a constraint — almost universally look back and say they wish they'd done it sooner.

That's not an argument for recklessness. It's an argument for not letting the pursuit of perfect timing crowd out a decision that is, by every meaningful measure, the right one.

What "mapping out your move" in Des Moines actually looks like

I use the phrase "let's map out your move" deliberately, because that's what the first conversation actually is. Not a sales meeting. Not a listing presentation. A map.

We look at what your current home is realistically worth in today's market — not Zillow's estimate, not what your neighbor got three years ago, but what a well-marketed, well-priced home in your specific neighborhood would sell for right now.

We look at what that equity gets you in your target suburbs. Johnston. Ankeny. Waukee. West Des Moines. Urbandale. Clive. Grimes. Whatever combination of school district, neighborhood feel, lot size, and price point matters most to your family.

Whether your target is Johnston's school district, Ankeny's community energy, Urbandale's established neighborhoods, Waukee's newer construction, West Des Moines's Valley district, Clive's central location, or Grimes's emerging value — each of these suburbs has families who chose it and would choose it again. The right one depends entirely on your family's priorities, not on a universal ranking.

We look at the timeline — backward from when you need to be in a new district, forward from when it makes sense to list. And we look at the coordination question: how do you sell and buy simultaneously without carrying two mortgages or living in a hotel for six weeks? A well-structured contingent offer, timed closings, or a bridge arrangement can all solve this — the right approach depends on your specific situation.

By the end of that conversation, you have a clear picture of whether moving makes sense, what the path looks like, and what the real obstacles are — if there are any. Sometimes the answer is "you're ready to go right now." Sometimes it's "in six months, here's what you need to do between now and then." Sometimes it's "the numbers don't quite work yet, and here's what changes that."

All three of those outcomes are useful. None of them are a sales pitch.

One last thing

If you've been thinking about this for two years, I want you to know something: that's not unusual, and it's not a character flaw.

Moving your family is one of the heaviest decisions you'll make. The home you're leaving has history in it. The home you're moving to is still imaginary. The gap between those two things is where anxiety lives, and it's completely normal to spend a long time in that gap before you're ready to close it.

What I'd push back on is the assumption that more time in the gap will produce more certainty. It usually doesn't. What produces clarity is actually looking at the numbers, walking through the process, and finding out whether the thing you've been worried about is real or imagined.

Most of the time, it's more manageable than you thought.

I've lived in these northwest suburbs most of my life. I know these communities from the inside — not just as markets, but as places where I've watched families build lives and come back to tell me they made the right call.

If you're ready to stop thinking about it and start figuring it out, that conversation starts with a simple question:

What would it take for this to make sense for your family?

Let's find out together. →

Frequently asked questions about moving up in Des Moines

How do I know if I'm ready to move up to a bigger home in Des Moines?

Use the three-question framework from this post: does your family actually need this, can you do it comfortably rather than just technically, and will your kids and your life be measurably better for it? If all three answers are genuinely yes, you're not facing a decision problem — you're facing a logistics problem. A move-up specialist can help you map out the specifics of selling your current home and securing your next one in the northwest suburbs.

What is a move-up buyer in real estate?

A move-up buyer is a current homeowner who sells their existing home to purchase a larger or higher-value property — typically driven by a growing family, the need for more space, a desire to get into a better school district, or a significant increase in household income since their first purchase. Move-up transactions are more complex than a standard purchase because you're coordinating a sale and a buy simultaneously, often with tight timing and family schedules in the middle.

How does the move-up process work when you need to sell and buy at the same time?

The most common strategies are a contingent offer — where your purchase is contingent on your current home selling first — carefully sequenced back-to-back closings, or a bridge loan. In the Des Moines northwest suburbs, well-priced homes typically sell within two to three weeks, which creates a workable window for coordination. The key is working with an agent who specializes in this specific type of transaction and knows how to structure both sides so you move once without gap housing.

Is 2026 a good time to move up in the Des Moines housing market?

The $350K–$800K range in Des Moines is currently a balanced market — inventory has increased 15% year-over-year and homes are averaging 35 days on market metro-wide, with faster-moving suburbs like Ankeny and Waukee closer to 18–21 days for well-priced homes. For move-up buyers who built equity between 2012 and 2020, purchasing power is strong relative to what it was at the peak of the rate environment. The market rewards families who are ready and strategic — not families who wait for a signal that never comes.

What are the best suburbs for move-up families in Des Moines?

Johnston, Ankeny, Urbandale, Waukee, West Des Moines, Clive, and Grimes each offer distinct advantages for move-up families in different situations. Johnston and Ankeny are the most sought-after for school district reputation. Urbandale offers established neighborhoods and strong value per square foot. Waukee has the most newer construction and fastest school district growth. West Des Moines provides the Valley district and the most established infrastructure. Clive is centrally located with strong community feel. Grimes offers the best price-to-value ratio in the corridor right now. The right answer depends on your family's specific priorities — there is no universal ranking.

What's the difference between a move-up specialist and a regular real estate agent?

A general agent handles everything from condos to farmland across a wide geography. A move-up specialist focuses exclusively on families coordinating the sale of their current home and the purchase of their next one — a fundamentally different and more complex transaction type. The coordination, timing, and dual negotiation involved in a move-up deal require a specific skill set that generalists rarely develop. For a transaction in the $800K–$1.2M combined range (selling a $350K home and buying a $550K home), the difference in outcome between a specialist and a generalist is meaningful.

Pete Jones is a move-up real estate specialist serving families across the Des Moines northwest suburbs — Johnston, Ankeny, Urbandale, Waukee, West Des Moines, Clive, and Grimes. He grew up in Urbandale, attended Urbandale High School, and now lives in Johnston with his wife — who grew up in Ankeny — and their three kids. Before real estate, Pete spent 20 years building marketing strategies for major corporations and founded DesMoinesIsNotBoring.com. He applies that same strategic thinking to helping established families sell their current home and buy their next one in the suburbs he's called home his entire life.

Ready to map out your move? Contact me here: https://peterjonesrealty.com/contact